The Secret Box of Duke L'Orange
by Dragon's Ember
Summary: Nosedive finds a mysterious box in Duke's room and is determined to find out what's inside, with a little help from Mallory.
1. The Box

Nosedive set a plate of sandwiches next to his TV and scanned his movie collection. There were times when he simply needed to sit down with a heaping plate of food and watch something just for the heck of it. Right now, he decided, it was time for _The Wrath of Khan_. The only problem was, it wasn't there. That was odd. He always kept it with his other _Star Trek_ tapes, which were some of the few things he managed to keep organized. Then he remembered Duke had borrowed it.

Annoyed, Nosedive marched up to Duke's room and pressed the buzzer. There was no answer. He pressed it again. Nothing happened. He was about to go off in search of Duke when Mallory came out of her room. "Hey, Mallory," he said, "where's Duke?"

"He went out," she replied.

"When is he coming back?"

"I don't know."

Nosedive grumbled something inaudible.

"What's the problem?" Mallory asked.

"He borrowed _Wrath of Khan_ from me, like, a month ago," said Nosedive, "and I want it back."

"So go get it."

"I don't know his passcode."

"You don't?"

"He changed it after I put those frogs in his room."

Mallory paused, reminiscing on that strange day. "Well, it serves you right. Guess you'll have to wait," she said, then started to walk away.

"You know the code, don't you?" said Nosedive.

Mallory stopped. "Yeah, but why should I tell _you_?"

"Come on, I just want my tape back."

"No."

"I promise I'll never sabotage his room again... or yours."

"Never?"

Nosedive hesitated. Was _Star Trek_ really worth a lifetime without sabotage? "Never," he said. "Promise."

Mallory sighed. "9999."

Nosedive grinned and entered the code, and the doors opened. "Okay, _I_ could've guessed _that_."

"It's called reverse psychology," said Mallory. "And if you tell him I let you in, I will de-feather you."

"My beak is sealed," Nosedive replied, then cautiously entered the forbidden space.

Duke's room was the same as always, tidy and sparsely decorated. His sword collection occupied one wall, along with a few autographed hockey sticks from some of Earth's finest players. But Nosedive didn't take the time to admire these. He went straight for the TV and checked the VCR. Finding no tape, he turned to Duke's prized mahogany bookshelf. He quickly located _The Wrath of Khan_ in a row of neatly organized VHS tapes. Mostly science fiction movies, Nosedive noted, and some dramas he'd never heard of. Slightly curious now, he eyed the shelves. They were mostly full of books – long, intricate novels about who-knows-what. Leave it to Duke to actually enjoy Earth's literature, he thought. There were also, to his surprise, a few poetry books. That was interesting. He couldn't recall Duke ever saying he liked poetry, but he was a duck of many secrets, as Nosedive called him. This notion was further augmented when he noticed a lockbox sitting on one of the shelves beside some books. Intrigued, Nosedive picked it up and studied it. It was a small wooden box, finely crafted but not ornate. There was nothing odd about it except for its lone placing.

Nosedive's mind went wild with ideas of what could be inside. Was it some object of great value, like a rare jewel? Or maybe it was, dare he think it, something dark and incriminating. Or maybe it was both. After a moment of hesitation, Nosedive's curiosity won over and he tried to open it. But as he expected, it was locked.

"What are you doin'?" said a voice behind him. Nosedive shrieked and turned to face Duke, who looked less than pleased.

"What are you, a wizard?" Nosedive said. He quickly placed the box back on the shelf and grabbed his tape. "Uh, I thought you wouldn't be back for a while."

"Well, here I am," said Duke. "And you shouldn't be snoopin' around in here."

"I wasn't snooping," Nosedive replied. "I just wanted _The Wrath of Khan_ back."

"Right." Duke stuck him with a steely gaze. "How'd you get in here?"

"Through the door?"

"How did you know the code?"

"It wasn't that hard to figure out."

Duke looked him straight in the eye. "Who told you, Dive?"

Nosedive bit his beak. Being caught between Duke's wrath and Mallory's was a terrible conundrum, one that he faced far too often. "Mallory told me," he said finally. "But don't tell her I told you she told me, 'cause she'll hurt me. And she only told me because I promised I would never sabotage your room or hers again, which seems like a fair deal to me. Also I can't believe you told _her_ your passcode and not me."

Duke paused to process all this. He wasn't sure if Nosedive's last statement was funny or aggravating. "Who was it that put frogs in here?" he said pointedly.

"Fair enough," Nosedive responded. Figuring it was best not to prolong the conversation, he started heading for the doors. "I'm gonna go now. We good?"

"Yeah, we're good," Duke said, his expression softening slightly. "But I don't wanna catch you in here again, got that?"

"No _problemo_ , bro." Nosedive stopped in the doorway and looked back at the cryptic box. "Hey, what exactly is in that box?" he asked.

"None of your business," Duke replied flatly.

"Can I just have, like, a little hint?"

"Out."

"I'm out."

* * *

Mallory was watching the weather forecast in the rec room. Nosedive entered and, seeing her, crept up to the couch, then popped up behind her. "What's up, girly-girl?!" he yelled in her ear. Mallory didn't even flinch.

"It'll be sunny all week," she said casually, and Nosedive just scowled.

"Gee, in Anaheim? Never would've guessed," he replied sarcastically. Then he hopped over the couch and sat by her. His encounter with Duke still lingered in his mind. "Hey, you know that box Duke has on his bookshelf?" he asked suddenly.

"That old lockbox?" said Mallory.

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"Do you know what's in it?"

"No."

"Did you ever ask him?"

"Yeah. He told me it was 'his little secret', whatever that means."

"Interesting."

Mallory turned her attention from the TV. "Why do you care about this?"

"Well," said Nosedive, "I was just casually checking it out when I went in there, and Duke caught me and told me I shouldn't be snooping, which I wasn't. Then I asked him what was in it and he said it wasn't my business."

"So?"

"So it seems kind of suspicious, doesn't it?"

"We all have things we like to keep to ourselves."

"Yeah, but this is _Duke L'Orange_ , Mal. What would he keep locked up in a box that he doesn't want anyone to know about? Think about it."

Mallory looked amused. "Okay, I'll humor you," she said. "What do you think is in the box?"

"It could be anything," Nosedive said. "Like, what if it's a priceless jewel from his shady past? Or what if it's something so secret and twisted that if we ever saw it, we would never look at him the same way again?"

Mallory gave him the most deadpan expression he had ever seen. "You didn't happen to get into his wine stash while you were in there, did you?"

"He has that?"

"Nosedive, I highly doubt he's keeping 'twisted' things in a box on his shelf. Come on."

"Okay, then what do _you_ think it is?"

Mallory paused, thought about it, then quickly dismissed whatever she had come up with. "I don't know," she said gruffly, "but Duke's right. It's _not_ your business, or mine. So just let it go." She turned her attention back to the TV. Nosedive gave her a smug look. "What?" she said.

"You're curious," said Nosedive.

"No, I'm not," she replied.

"You're totally curious."

"I couldn't care less."

"Come on, Mal."

"I'm about to slap you."

"Oh, look me in the eye and tell me you don't wanna know what's in that box."

"So what if I do? It's not like I can just go and look."

"Why not?"

"'Cause that would be wrong, you dumb duck."

"He would never even know. And if you're so convinced it's not something bad, what's the harm in looking?"

Mallory stumbled over her words for a moment. "Are you _trying_ to get me back on his bad side? You can't just go snooping through people's personal belongings."

"Hey, we're young," said Nosedive. "We're _expected_ to do stuff like this."

Mallory gave him a firm smack on the head. "Even _you_ are too old for stuff like this," she said, then once again became absorbed by the TV. Nosedive brushed off the assault, undeterred.

"Well, I'm gonna do it anyway," he said. Mallory just smacked her hand to her forehead.

"Have fun," she said.

"I will," he replied.

"You'll be disappointed, you know," she insisted.

"Maybe," said Nosedive. "But I'll know what's in that box, and I'll never tell anyone. Not even you."

"Good. I don't wanna know."

"Whatever you say."

There was a long silence. Finally, without taking her eyes off the TV, Mallory muttered, "Just a quick look?"

"Yep," said Nosedive.

"And you'll never tell anyone?"

Nosedive grinned. Persuasion was a wonderful thing. "Nope."


	2. The Plan

Mallory sat in Nosedive's gaming chair as he held up a diagram of crudely-drawn stick figures. "Okay, here's the plan," he said. "You're gonna talk to Duke and find out when he'll leave the Pond."

"Won't that make him suspicious?" Mallory interjected.

"Why would it?"

"Well, for starters, I never ask him about his plans."

"But you guys are all cutesy and sweet with each other now."

"We're really not."

"Focus, girlfriend. This is important. You have to find out when he's gonna leave. I don't care how you do it, just do it. Once he's gone, you'll stand watch at the end of the hall while I sneak into his room and take the box. Then we come back here, open it, bask in the glory – or horror – of whatever's inside, then put it back as fast as we can. Any questions?"

"Was the diagram really necessary?" Mallory asked.

Nosedive glowered at her. "Do you understand the plan?" he emphasized.

"Yes, I got it," said Mallory.

"Good." Nosedive tossed the diagram on the floor. "My code name'll be Desperado. What's yours?"

"I'm not doing code names."

"I'm just gonna call you Red."

"Fine... Desperado."

Nosedive grinned smugly. "Now go find Duke."

"Right now?"

"When opportunity knocks, Mal, you don't throw a snowball at it."

"What?"

"Just go find Duke."

* * *

The first part of the plan proved simple enough. Mallory found Duke in the mess hall, thoughtfully sipping on a cup of coffee. Without a word, she took a random can of something out of the refrigerator and sat across from him. Duke barely glanced at her.

"What's up?" he said.

"Not much," she replied, trying to sound bored. "You?"

"Not much."

"Got any plans?" Mallory cringed inwardly. Was that too straightforward? Duke didn't seem to think anything of it. He just gave her a sort of half smile.

"Excitin' plans or just plans?"

"Any plans."

Duke shrugged. "I might head out tonight, maybe grab a drink."

"Sounds nice," Mallory said. That was easier than she'd expected. Of course, she couldn't leave yet, not without making him suspicious. Having no idea what to say now, she just took a drink of her beverage and stared down at the table.

After an awkward silence, Duke said quietly, "You can come if you want."

"I can't," Mallory replied absently. "I have to help Nosedive fix... something."

"What kinda trouble did you guys get into this time?" Duke said, smirking.

"Oh, just some... minor rocket-skate issues."

Duke chuckled. "Well, good luck with that. I didn't know you liked tomato juice."

Mallory looked confused, then noticed the random can she'd grabbed was, unfortunately, filled with tomato juice. "Uh, I don't know why I'm drinking it," she admitted.

"You okay?" he asked, slightly amused.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "Totally fine." She took another sip of tomato juice for no reason in particular, then got up. "I'll see you later."

"Okay..." Duke watched her leave, obviously perplexed, and Mallory mentally kicked herself.

 _Smooth, Mallory, real smooth,_ she thought. _Why do we even_ have _tomato juice?_

* * *

Duke left that evening as expected, and Nosedive and Mallory watched him from Drake One via the security cameras. Once he was out of the building, Nosedive grinned deviously. "Commence infiltration."

"You're taking this way too seriously," Mallory said as they approached the elevator.

"Just let me have my fun, okay?" Nosedive retorted.

When they reached the hall, he cautiously peeked around the corner. "All clear," he said. "Stay here, Red. If there's trouble, whistle."

"Yeah, yeah," Mallory replied. "Just go. And be careful with the box, okay?"

"I was _born_ careful."

Nosedive went up to the keypad and entered the code. He scoped out Duke's room before entering, just in case, then deftly somersaulted in. There was the mysterious box on the shelf in all its tantalizing glory. He picked it up carefully, half expecting it to trigger an alarm or some kind of booby trap, but it didn't. Then he went back to the hall, holding the box like it was made of glass. He was so focused on it that he almost walked right into Wildwing. Nosedive stopped with a yelp and Wildwing looked at him oddly.

"Hi, Dive," he said.

"Hi," Nosedive said flatly. Then he glared at Mallory, who was still waiting at the end of the hall. "Why didn't you give the signal?"

"It's just Wildwing," she said.

Wildwing took in the scene before him. He noted the box, which obviously belonged to Duke, and Nosedive looked so guilty that it was almost laughable. "I want no part of this," he said.

"You're the best, bro," said Nosedive. "Come on, Red."

He and Mallory went into his room, and Wildwing wisely decided not to ponder what had just happened. "Don't get involved," he told himself. "Never get involved unless they start blowing things up."

Nosedive set the box on his couch and took a moment to savor his achievement. He'd done it. He'd stolen the secret possession of an infamous thief. Although part of him felt guilty, he also felt a strange sense of pride. Duke would probably be proud of him, too, if the box belonged to anyone else. In Nosedive's mind it was hilariously ironic. Mallory, however, just rolled her eyes at his smug expression.

"So I don't suppose you found the key," she said, snapping him back to reality.

"I don't need a key," Nosedive replied, scanning his room. "I just need– Ah." Spotting the empty plate he'd left by the TV, he took a toothpick off it and sat on the couch. Mallory sat by him and watched as he started picking the lock with it. Now that the box was right in front of her, her guilt was beginning to outweigh her curiosity.

"This is wrong," she said.

"If Duke didn't want me doing stuff like this," Nosedive responded, "he shouldn't have taught me."

"Sometimes your logic amazes me."

In less than a minute the lock clicked. Holding his breath, Nosedive slowly opened the box, preparing himself for something terribly fantastic or fantastically terrible. In spite of herself, Mallory leaned in close, suddenly eager to see the secret hidden within. The lid fell back, and what they saw was shocking...


	3. The Reveal

And disappointing.

"It's a book," Mallory said flatly.

And it was. Nothing but a novel, clearly antique, with a worn leather cover and yellowed pages.

"Not quite what I was expecting," said Nosedive, who was now considerably less smug. He carefully took it out of the box and tried to read the title. This proved difficult, though, as it was in French. " _'Less Troys–'_ I don't even know how to pronounce that." Still slightly hopeful, he opened it and flipped through the brittle pages. He couldn't read any of the text, but none of it looked very interesting. In any case, it certainly didn't look like anything scandalous. Uninterested now, Mallory took the box and studied the inside of it, absently running her fingers along the bottom.

"So, you think this is some kind of secret book about something... secret-y?" Nosedive asked hopefully.

Mallory glared at him. "It's just an old book," she said, "probably worth something."

"Man, that is _so_ disappointing."

"I told you it was nothing."

"Well, who puts a book in a lockbox?"

"Apparently Duke. Are you happy now?"

Nosedive desperately flipped through the book again, but found nothing. "I just stole a _book._ And I can't even read it because it's in... foreign."

"Yeah, and I helped," Mallory said. "We can both feel stupid together. Let's just put it back."

Thoroughly disappointed, Nosedive put the book back in the box. Then they crept back into Duke's room and returned it to its place on the shelf.

"There. It's like it never even happened," Nosedive said, then started toward the doors.

"Wait, what about locking it again?" Mallory pointed out.

Nosedive froze. He knew he'd forgotten something. "You think Duke'll notice?"

"Yeah, I would," said a smug voice. Startled, Nosedive and Mallory turned, and there was Duke seated on his couch, a wry smirk on his beak.

"How did– Where did–" Nosedive stammered. "You were– Then we–"

"We can explain," said Mallory. Nosedive just nodded.

"You snuck in here and stole my private property," said Duke.

"Technically," Nosedive replied, "we just borrowed it."

"Uh-uh. Can't use my line on me, kid."

"Wait, wait, wait, back up. How did you– We just saw you leave. Why are you here?"

"Yeah, I didn't really go anywhere," Duke said, getting up. "I knew somethin' was off." He casually leaned against his bookshelf, smug as ever. Mallory opted to just stare at the floor and say nothing. Nosedive, on the other hand, was more irritated than embarrassed.

"Was it something she said?" he asked, jabbing his thumb at Mallory. "It was, wasn't it?"

"Well," said Duke, "she did mention helpin' you with somethin', and you were so curious about my box. I just put two and two together. That, and the tomato juice was kinda strange."

Nosedive shot a look at Mallory. "Tomato–?"

She just held up her hand to silence him.

"So how'd ya like my secret?" Duke said, mainly to Nosedive.

"Why are you so crazy about a musty old book?" he said.

"It's an 1890 edition of _Les Trois Mousquetaires – The Three Musketeers_ in its original French," Duke explained. "It's worth a lot of money. And it's one of my favorite books."

"Can you even _read_ French?"

"Well, it's more of a collector's item, but yeah. _C'est mon h_ _é_ _ritage,_ ya know."

"Say what?"

"Never mind."

"Why wouldn't you just tell me what was in there in the first place?"

"Like I said before, it's none of your business."

Nosedive scowled. He knew Duke was right, of course, but there was no way he was going to admit it.

"Now," said Duke, "I'm in a good mood, so start runnin'. I'll give you a head start."

Nosedive looked at him quizzically.

"You like your beak on your face or not?"

With that, Nosedive chuckled nervously, then promptly turned and ran.

"Wonder how far he'll get before he realizes I'm not comin'," Duke remarked once he was gone.

"So you're not mad?" Mallory asked quietly.

"Mad isn't the word," Duke replied, returning to the couch. "Sit down."

Still refusing to make eye contact, Mallory awkwardly sat beside him. His condescending attitude was gone now, replaced by an air of disappointment. "I'm assuming this was Nosedive's idea," he said.

"Completely," said Mallory.

"I figured. But why did you go along with it? 'Cause frankly, Mal, that was low, especially for you."

"I know. I don't know why I listened to him. I was just being stupid."

"Well, what did you think was in there? You can tell me. I won't get mad."

Mallory hesitated. "I didn't think it was anything bad, if that's what you're asking. I really didn't." She paused again, wondering if that was even honest, then sighed. "I don't even know what I was expecting. Nosedive just wouldn't let up about it and we– _I_ decided to act like an idiot... and a jerk."

"Okay," said Duke. "I believe that."

"And I'm really, really sorry," Mallory continued. "You have every right to keep things to yourself and it was totally wrong for us to go behind your back like that."

"Yeah, it was. Can't argue with that."

Mallory didn't say anything more. She just kept her gaze on the floor and waited for him to spout off. But after a moment, all he said was, "But it's fine. Apology accepted."

Surprised, Mallory looked at him doubtfully. "Are you sure?"

"You know I can't stay mad at you, sweetheart. Besides, curiosity gets the best of all of us. Let's just forget about it, all right?"

Mallory smiled and nodded, and they were both quiet again. Then Duke chuckled. "No harm done anyway. I mean, that book's just a decoy."

Mallory looked at him questioningly. His signature smirk had returned.

"You notice anything odd about that box?" he asked her.

Mallory sighed. "It has a false bottom," she said. "I noticed, but I didn't look. I swear."

Duke looked surprised, then impressed. "Well, then..." He got up, took the box off the shelf and handed it to her. "Go ahead."

Mallory looked dumbfounded. "Why?"

"I want you to see what's really in there. Just keep it between us."

Duke sat down again. Mallory hesitated, and he waited. Finally, she opened it. She took out the book, found the tiny switch she'd discovered before and removed the false bottom. Underneath were two objects. "Can I?" she asked. Duke nodded. She picked up the first object, a small album, and opened it to find a picture of the team in hockey gear right after they had arrived on Earth. "A photo album?"

"Call me a sentimental fool."

Mallory flipped through the other photos, all pictures of at least one team member. Many of them were from hockey games, but some were just from random moments, like when Nosedive fell asleep with his head in a pizza box or when Tanya built a fully functioning puck launcher out of duct tape. There were even a few shots from the ridiculous photo shoots Phil managed to drag them into.

Smiling fondly at the memories, Mallory put the album back and picked up the second object – a silver necklace with a bird-shaped pendant inset with a blue stone. "What's this?" she asked.

"My mother's necklace," said Duke.

Mallory paused, slightly taken aback. "It's beautiful," she said quietly.

"It's worthless," Duke replied, not coldly. "She gave it to me when I was seven 'cause I liked it so much. It's just... all I got left of her, I guess."

Mallory gently put the necklace back and returned the box to its original state. "Well, now I feel worse," she said.

"Don't," said Duke. "You apologized, Nosedive ran in terror. It's all good." He took the box back to the shelf and lingered there for a moment, smiling to himself. "Ya know," he said, turning back to Mallory, "I still have plans for tonight, and my offer's still open. Wanna come?"

"Where are you going?"

"There's this bar. It's kinda rundown and I know you're not one for drinkin', but the manager's cool with me and it's quiet–"

"Actually, that sounds great right now."

"Ya sure?"

Now that Mallory thought about it, the offer was surprising. She and Duke never went anywhere together, not for the sake of enjoying each other's company, at least. Even on the rare days when they weren't arguing about something, it just didn't happen. But then, things had changed, perhaps more than anyone realized.

"Two aliens out for a crazy night in Anaheim?" she said. "Sounds exciting."

"Hey, sarcasm's _my_ thing," said Duke. "But I'll take that as a yes. You ready, then?"

"Let's go."

As the two headed for the doors, Duke stole a quick glance at her. "Your feathers are rufflin', sweetheart," he said.

"No, they're not," she replied shortly. But they were, and Duke just smirked. Mallory decided to change the subject. "But what about Nosedive?" she said as they started down the hall. "Are you just gonna let this go or are you gonna get back at him?"

"Nah, I think that musty old book was punishment enough. Besides, he's probably halfway to Burbank by now."

Mallory stopped suddenly, looking devious. "I have an idea."

At the moment, Nosedive was not halfway to Burbank. He was actually hiding in the storage closet in Phil's office, chiding himself for bothering with that stupid box and desperately hoping Duke wouldn't find him. He was also incredibly bored. But before he could start an imaginary conversation with the broom, his comm beeped. He opened it reluctantly and Mallory's face appeared.

"Hey, Desperado, where are you?" she said, forcing a glare.

"In the closet in Phil's office," Nosedive replied quietly.

"Well, stay there," said Mallory. "Duke's looking everywhere for you."

"Man, I'm so dead. This is all your fault, you know."

" _My_ fault?"

"You could've talked me out of it, but _noooooo_ , you just _had_ to look in the box. And you clearly failed the whole tricking Duke part, so yeah, I'm blaming you."

"I'm saving your tail feathers right now, you moron. Just stay in the closet. I'm sure he'll lose interest in a few hours."

"A few hours?!"

"Oh, and, Nosedive? Your comm has a tracker in it, remember?"

Nosedive's look of terror before he disconnected was priceless. Mallory shut her comm with a smirk and Duke chuckled.

"You're good, Mal. Shall we?"

"Let's."


End file.
